Forbearance

As a follow up to the previous entry on the Apostolic Vicariate of Arabia's statement, here is a Resolution from the Archdiocese of Nairobi represented by Cardinal Napier:


Mini Update: I was corrected by a reader who told me that this "...resolution of the African Clergy is a joint resolution penned in Nairobi with His Lordship David Kamau Ng'ang'a, Auxiliary Bishop of Nairobi, and His Eminence Wilfrid Cardinal Napier, Cardinal of South Africa, as principal signatories and the various clergy representatives in the region."

Thanks for the correction and God bless!

Also, to clarify for some of those who had a less than pleasant reaction to the photos of the vehicle with both the CFC and FFL stickers, please remember it was a tongue in cheek entry. Note my own line:

"Actually, it's really nothing, I just found the stickers on the car interesting. "

I wasn't taking it THAT seriously. It just helped to illustrate the main topic of the post which is Allegiance.

Moving on, I bet you're all wondering how the word forbearance can have any relevance in this blog entry. It actually has to do with the reaction of the FFL leadership to what has happened in Africa. It took a lot of introspection for me to even think about posting these emails, and I agonized over it for a while until I felt I was justified. There are 2 emails, and this is the first:

From: manny hermano <>
To: Frank Padilla <>; Frank Padilla <>; "Oscar L. Contreras, Jr." <>; Maria Isabel Fara Descallar <>; Jack Burgoyne (Private) <>; Mimi David <>
Cc: Nani Almanza ; "CFC_NC_Andrews, Edwin/Nila" <>; "CFC-Texas"; ado paglinawan <>; Joe de Leon <>; IMC_Manaloto_Ray (H) <>; Orland Dizon <>; Orland Dizon <>; Rodolfo Borja <>; Ruben Coson <>; Renato Garcia <>; Leo and Doris de Vela <>; "Moso, Edgardo" <>; Ricardo Dimalanta <>; Gil San Miguel <>; Herman Justin <>; junjun cecile samalio <>; danny beth sardon <>; renan perla garcia <>; jomar jane manalo <>; john kristine llena <>; cesar naty azcueta <>; Leopoldo Villaruz <>; Tim and Lita Q <>; Bong Sabolboro <>; Reglita P. Laput <>

Sent: Tuesday, November 13, 2007 2:23:30 AM
Subject: CFC-IC Actions - Is it Christian or even Warranted?

Dear Brethren,

As you know the work of evangelization and family renewal still has a long way to go in the areas where there is CFC. And there are many more countries where CFC has not made any inroads. Even before the split in CFC, we had not even began to scratch the surface in the massive work of global evangelization. When the split happened, we were trying to understand the Lord's will and we looked at the example of Paul and Barnabas when they went separate ways and actually hastened the explosive spread of Christianity. So we thought that the 2 groups now of CFC - the CFC headed by Joe Tale and the IC, and the CFC-FFL led by Frank Padilla would accelerate the evangelistic work of CFC as we work side by side with honor and respect. In fact, even from the beginning of the split and as late as 2 weeks ago, Frank wrote and offered that there are ways that our 2 groups, even if having different focus in charisms, can still cooperate and work together in joint activities.
But now look at what the CFC-IC has done lately, and you decide whether what they are doing is something that is led by the Holy Spirit, or one concocted by mortals with other designs in their hearts motivated by unknown spirits.
The attached 2 letters are from Clergy of the Catholic Church - one from the Archbishop of Newark, NJ, USA; and another from the Vicar Apostolic of Arabia somewhere in the Middle East. They are thousands of miles apart and in different countries and cultures, and so what are the chances that these 2 clergymen would think in such the same way that their composition of a letter uses exactly the same format and even same sentence construction in expressing exactly the same thought?
And what are the chances that they would think to release such a letter only a few weeks apart?
Look at the paragraphs in attached letters that almost coincide one-to-one, as follows:
1st Para: "...which has now spread around the world..."
2nd Para.: ..."starting with ministry to married couples, it has gradually spread ..."
3rd (Arabia) & 4th (NJ) Para.: "Recently CFC has undergone its most severe crisis and has split into two groups..." "...CFC headed by Mr. Jose Tale, and the CFC Foundation for Family and Life, or CFCFFL ...headed by Mr. Frank Padilla."
2nd to last Para: "...reaffirms the original Couples for Christ under the leadership of Jose Tale. Any other groups using or making reference to CFC other than the original CFC group will not be recognized (may bear no recognition)..."
Last Para.: "May the Holy Spirit continue to bless CFC members in their efforts to spread.."
So dear brethren, even as we in CFC-FFL are trying to resume our focus on the Lord's work and working on healing of relationships, someone or some top level people in CFC-IC are launching an organized effort to shut us out of dioceses, vicariates, and parishes.
Brothers and sisters, you can decide if these 2 letters - with all their similarities and even exact wordings, were actually written by the undersigned Clergymen out of their own discernment or good intentions, or were they too, victims of someone or some group in CFC-IC who ghost-wrote the letter and solicited their signatures?
Or worse, since it spans 2 continents, isn't it more logical that this is being orchestrated from the CFC Center in Manila by one of the IC members or at the very least with their knowledge and consent? And are there more of these letters to come?
You be the one to discern which kind of spirit is motivating our brethren from the CFC-IC to tell bishops, vicars, and pastors such slanted stories that harm our good name in CFC-FFL in an extreme way as to completely remove our recognition and prevent us from doing any type of apostolate work in the diocese or vicariate.
Brethren, what has happened to the example of Paul and Barnabas in going separate ways but blessing each other in doing God's work? I call on bro. Joe Tale and the IC to ask the Archbishop of Newark and the Vicar of Arabia to withdraw their letters and to reinstate recognition of CFC-FFL in their areas.
Finally I request our innocent brethren who have aligned themselves with the CFC led by Joe Tale and the IC, to inwardly reflect on the following question: With the IC obviously aware of this attack on CFC-FFL and allowing it to happen or perhaps even directly and actively involved in it, do you approve of their actions?
To us who have chosen NOT to align with the IC, this is just another confirmation of what we had said all along, i.e., that this IC has lost its moral ascendancy and spiritual anointing to lead the global CFC.
God have mercy on us all.
Manny Hermano
Member, CFC-US National Council

I'll post the other email tomorrow. I'm turning off comments...for now. Before you all start composing your reactions to this, let this be an exercise in humility and remember the theme for 2008,

"Love another as I have loved you."

UPDATE [10:50am]:

Here is the 2nd email that seemed to be in response Manny Hermano's:

From: Adolfo & Margi Paglinawan <>
To: manny hermano <>, Frank Padilla <>, Frank Padilla <>, "Oscar L. Contreras, Jr." <>, Maria Isabel Fara Descallar <>, "Jack Burgoyne " <>, "Mimi David" <>
Date: Tue, 13 Nov 2007 05:47:01 -0800 (PST)

Subject: Re: CFC-IC Actions - Is it Christian or even Warranted?

brother, you forgot this one from the Nairobi that is concurred by a Cardinal of South Africa, and ministries from Kenya, Uganda and Tanzania.
this is obviously the product of their participation in the African Pastoral Congress where they spent a fortune to send five, yes five representatives, four of whom all the way from the Philippines. (with that kind of money, i could have paid four fulltimers to help me for a ehole year or more, in Cameroon, The Gambia, Mali and Senegal.).
an expensive junket indeed and with the malicious intent of misleading and signing up leaders of the church.
since they cannot get the numbers, they resort to legalism. their leader of course is a lawyer, what can we expect? even Christ condemned lawyers, pharisees, saduccees and the scribes who tweaked Scriptures to their advantage as the social leaders of the his time. Woe! said Jesus! the commentaries in fact said that this is precisely why Jesus himself had to come to bring glad tidings to the poor, that is all thgose in need of God's hope, whom these social climbers have ignored.
i just talked to joe de leon last night and he told me that to the faces of these legalists, including oscar banting, their area director in new jersey, the parish priest categorically said first 1) he cannot believe that the archbishop of newark being a canon lawyer can dabble in so much details and even have time to write that lengthy letter 2) regardless of what the archbishop said, they are cooperating with CFCFFL because the great majority of the CFCs there are CFCFFL 3) and because of that it is they CFCIC, CFCGK, CFCGlobal or just plain CFC whichever name they call themselves, are not welcome in his parish. "As far as I am concerned, I rule in my parish, and no piece of paper, suspicious as it looks, can make me believe otherwise."
what are the learnings here?
1) a piece of paper cannot legitimatize a group. a paper trail is merely a phyrric victory. it is only the free and unencumbered exercise of free consciences that legitimatizes an action. lets face it, bishops, archbishops and cardinals can be conned. an unscrupulous assistant can slide in something for them to sign on. it happens all the time. there is even heavier politics within the church, and CFCIC is even fueling that weak side of our church authorities.
in 1986, margi and i presented our statutes and teachings to the archdiocese of washington where they assumably were left ignored for many years. in 1993, after CFC's split with Ligaya, lito urgino even joined me to follow-up on my earlier request for recognition. nothing happened except that lito even quarrelled with directorate of family life, who was a woman, making all hopes for recognition impossible.
but when Cardinal McCarrick took over the archdiocese, things just slid into place and since then Jun Basilio and I have been attending the meetings of the Archdiocesan Council for Ecclesial Movements, New Communities and Third Orders. Last year, Cardinal Wuerl took over. This year, I was unanimously elected by the Council to be the incoming Chairman for 2008-09, and especially because of the CFC conflict, I was more than glad to accept the position.
2) it is what we enable that will stick to the ground, grow roots, shoot a trunk and bear fruits. that is the essence of christianity. what is written must show in our witness. even the bible is good for nothing lying on some dustbin. logic dictates, and Scriptures too, that the word will not spread if we do not preach it. it will not flower if those who read it do not live it. the proof is in our witness, not in our IDs.
am i to think therefore that CFCIC has become a cult? As Father Justin once said when he visited Maryland "Couples for Christ has become CFC and CFC has become Clean Fun Club". Everybody acknowledges there is a culture but he sees a lot of officiousness especially in exacting obedience, not in a loving manner but from a spirit of covetousness.
Fr. Justin confirmed the sin of many CFC leaders that I have always been complaining about. The leaders have become control freaks. Classic example is Lito Urgino and after him worse, Sonny Aguiling. Nothing happened below without household, unit and chapter leaders first clearing with Rod Bustos. Then it became worse, nothing happened below without Rod Bustos first clearing with Sonny Aguiling.
World Bank calls this trickle down dynamics, I called this simply totempole style of management where the upper kisses the lower of the one above him ad infinitum est. Jun Basilio, one time with a book of Frank Padilla in hand told me, pare they have caged the Holy Spirit, so how can we all fly?
Three years ago, I based back in the US because of Margi's deteriorating health conditions, and the first thing I received from Sonny, as CFC's regional director was an email entitled "CFC Guidelines for New Immigrants". Goodness, I have lived in this country since that time, and has been a green card holder since 1994, and even if nobody recognizes it, I brought CFC to the US in 1986; but to the mind of Sonny, I was just off-the-boat!
3) we draw our legitimacy from the holy spirit. it is only the holy spirit that can preserve, protect and allow us to be recognized even in areas where there are no cardinals, no archbishops, no priests, no Catholics, no Christians. let us not be drawn into the numbers game that CFCIC is playing. The Japanese torturers of Lorenzo Ruiz never asked for his Vatican recognition, and even if he had one, it would not have stopped them from tying his feet, pulling him up and lowering his head under the ground to render a most painful death.
let us continue with the Paulinian zeal, and of those after him, to the ends of the earth. shake the dust off our feet in those areas where we are not welcome and move to the next that could be a softer ground. In fact, the first missions of Paul did not even have the recognition of Peter who, instead of leading evangelization went back fishing. It was the fruits of Paul's dogged perseverance and long suffering that inspired Peter to seek reconciliation with Paul all the way to Rome. It was only then that it became clear to him as he trekked the dusty route that God had intended him to come later to validate everything Paul had began. Everywhere he went, people marvelled at Peter as "he who Paul was telling them about". Peter was beheaded like any Roman citizen when Peter arrived in Rome, but this time he did not skirt the issue but went out in the open preaching the good news until his own time to be tortured to death came.
we all know the rest of the story. lining up the roads out of Rome, thousands of crosses will bear the bodies of Christians who met the same fate as criminals under Roman law. but that law, would eventually melt in the hands of Constantine because someone dared talk to his mother about the faith. up to now, as the Vatican rises from that edict of Constantine, making Christianity the official religion of the great Roman Empire. the former survived the test of time, the latter did not. bishops will die, but the faith will never perish because the Word has come amongst us to fulfill the will of the Father, and until Jesus' second coming (btw, the gospel for the incoming Sunday) we are to abide and bear fruits.
4) do we therefore just handle this on faith basis? of course not. All posts worldwide can attempt to secure their perimeters and this is where the importance of having parish-based counts. Those who are not yet parish-based can not run to their pastors when challenged by a piece of paper. But no piece of paper can substitute for a working relationship with pastors especially if our presence are beyond CFC lines and onto parish stewardship from the "envelop" to the various parochial services we can get involved in.
Bro. Frank can of course expedite on the Vatican recognition but that has its own timing and protocol. But while that is pending, regional, area and chapter heads must be creative in guarding their flock and expanding their influence within and without the CFC (Luke 16:1-10). Chapter heads of course are engaged in implementating the culture of CFC, especially in making sure the households are meeting and the teachings post CLP are done over time. This is not only necessary but strategic because this is where the sure foundation nestles.
But area and regional heads must show presence especially because the split is still recent. They must set the moving forward agenda to the strong beat and rhythm of excitement and joy. We have already left the stale CFC, let us show evidence that we truly have the holy spirit in CFCFFL. the tens of thousands who milled in and around the Tagaytay convention center last weekend for the CFCFFL family picnic shows where the holy spirit is leaning.
what i am trying to say is we cannot get others excited if we are not excited in the Spirit. we cannot exact joy from others if we are not ourselves joyful in Christ! i have invited everyone to the CFC MidAtlantic website and especially to my article "The Good News and Joy of Moving Forward." in fact, i have even attached the same to my email to some. check it out, you may be inspired to adaptations of your own with the understanding that the enhancements must be led by those who are not distracted from their chapter duties and schedules. (see my attachments in powerpoint).
5) Now of course, we know that Sonny Aguiling has hostaged the two Joes and the two Rickys with his exclusive yahoo group listing and sick strategems. I pray for him and Joe D daily because people who cannot understand they have to turn over records and account for funds after they dismissed themselves, are both dishonest and not law abiding citizens to say the least. but we cannot be ruled by what they do. we cannot allow them to define us.
sure, talks in manila can be done pursuant to the august 14 and 28 agreements. reports can be made to the episcopal commission of the laity about further departures not only from the mission and vision, the CFC culture and from the spirit of brotherhood. these are administrative reforms that are important.
but at the end of the day, we know that they can agree for now but as soon as they turn their backs, they can still be infested by the covetous and obsessive spirit that extracts recognition from legalistic and secular means, so let us not be thrifty in casting those evil spirits that they exhibit in the conduct but deny when confronted.
the only and vigilant recourse to all this, and to our peace, is our appointed time daily with the Lord of Lords, our Christ the King of Kings.

I'm turning comments on now, with the reminder to all to remember that those in the FFL are also our brothers and sisters.

The funny thing about the word forbearance is, when you initially look the word up, it comes across as a legalistic term, but upon further research I found this:

Synonyms: abstinence, avoidance, endurance, fortitude, living with*, longanimity, moderation, patience, patientness, refraining, resignation, restraint, self-control, temperance, tolerance.

The ball is in your court, brothers and sisters.